Which College Football Fanbase Lacks The Most Intelligence?
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Which College Football Fanbase Lacks The Most Intelligence?

Fan is short for fanatical.

Every fan has his/her arch enemy fan. I’m talking Cobra Commander vs. Flint here—pure unadulterated hatred.

This raw emotion manifests itself in many ways. Probably the most entertaining is the scholastic achievement prowess, or lack thereof, that fanatical college football followers have for their loathed rival.

Clay Travis recently completed his series on America’s dumbest fan bases. If you read Travis at all it’s not surprising that he picks houndstooth wearing Alabama fans as the nation’s most unintelligent cattle herd. Travis has made a living, and a good one, by ripping ‘Bama fans every chance he gets. To be fair, Travis doesn’t pull punches with his Volunteers either. He’s an equal opportunity offender, the Howard Stern of college football. Remember when he asked Tim Tebow if he was virgin?

Ahh, the circus that is SEC Media Days.

Now, back to America’s least intelligent fandoms. The SEC makes up 40 percent of the list and college athletics accounts for 7 of the 10.

So what makes an Alabama fan so dumb? To Travis at least.

An important aspect of his life is that everyone must know that Alabama is his favorite team at every moment of his life. His truck, his trailer, his clothing, his animals, his arm, his parole papers — all of them must include a reference to his Alabama fandom.

Ohio State fans don’t get much love either.

Basically, Ohio State is like a homeless SEC team.

Its fans are uneducated, uncouth, often lacking in basic grammatical comprehension or the most rudimentary logical reasoning. Plus, they don’t even get to play real games that matter. While LSU and Georgia are knocking heads and Alabama and Texas A&M are playing classics for the ages, Ohio State is going to Purdue.

Hey, at least Bammers and Buckeyes don’t have herpes. That’s reserved for Travis’ own Volunteer faithful.

Before he takes his yearly trip to Panama City he dials up his Internet, hops on the message board and writes this subject, “Going to GAYtor land. Plan to piss everywhere. LOL.”

He gets fever blisters during football season and always says, “It’s not herpes damnit, I’m just stressed,” when Tiffany won’t kiss him or wipe away his tears after Nick Saban sodomizes the Vols.

It’s your turn to be honest. What do you really think of your rival’s fans? Give us the good stuff. You know, like, ‘deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties’ (thank you Jack Nicholson.)

Football season is closing in!

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